Saturday, June 29, 2013

Feed Me

With summer in full swing and episodic season just over a week away, I am in desperate need of a wardrobe make over.  My fashion sense seems to be perpetually stuck in autumn in NYC.  Greys, blues, browns, and black predominate my wardrobe, which not only makes me a good candidate for What Not To Wear, but also makes dressing for the weather in Los Angeles, not to mention auditions, meetings, social events, and just your basic going-to-the-grocery-store type outings a serious chore.

I would say my closet is not usually this messy and blame it having a 7-week-old, but that would be a lie.  I'm a slob.

But my current financial situation prohibits me from doing any real shopping.  Add to that my boobs which fluctuate in size by at least a cup depending on how long it's been since Monty has eaten.  Even if I had the resources to get new clothes, all of my tops have to be designed with easy access to my boobs, which limit the possibilities to button downs, strapless tops and T-shirts with flippity flappity necklines.  Also, they have to accommodate the nursing pads which, if I don't wear, I leak like a milk cow whose calf has been shipped off to the veal factory.

All of this would make things difficult enough if it weren't for the fact that when I Google "Summer 2013 fashion trends" shit like this comes up (I made the picture extra large so you can fully appreciate how Auschwitz-y this person is):

Feed me.

In fact, you might as well take a stroll over to Huffington Post to see what fashion trends they've picked for this season.  Apparently we've all collectively forgotten how hideous we looked in the early '90s.

In related news, Monty has no trouble with fashion.  Here he can be seen rocking various hand made items:

Blanket by yours truly.

Blue blanket by 95-year-old Great Great Aunt, Florrie.  Orange blanket by "Uncles" Allan and Tom.

Blanket by Gramma.

Hat by "Aunt" Tara.